


even now, she's still beautiful

by another_au



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Post-Betrayal, Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/another_au/pseuds/another_au
Summary: Sasuke and Sakura go on a journey together.





	even now, she's still beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> okay so like i started playing the naruto gacha game and then i had a tsunami of nostalgia and i decided to reminisce this old thing i used to love.  
bad idea  
i started crying when i listened to openings like a baby, and then i kept playing them and i kept crying  
and then i stumbled upon the sasukexsakura craze  
jesus christ  
its such a weird relationship thats so unsatisfactory and kishimoto wont give us content  
so out of respect for my younger self here i am  
writing a fanfic

Sasuke stared into the fire, watching it sway back and forth softly crackling. Sakura was sleeping rather uncomfortably, wrapped in her dirty poncho. She shifted every so often, her body unable to relax on the rough ground. He once again felt the urge to comfort her in some way, but he knew what would happen if he did that.

His eyes drifted to the ground thinking of that time a few weeks ago.

_Sasuke reached out to stroke her hair to soothe her discomfort, but before his hand could even get close her eyes snapped open and she retreated in a fright. She panted from fear, her hand already reaching to her kunai. Her dazed green eyes pierced him, like an animal not ready to die. They widened, realizing her mistake._

_"Oh.. Sasuke-kun.. sorry," she apologized warily before laying down and wrapping herself in her poncho, facing away from him._ 'For what?'_ he wanted to ask._ _After a minute or two he could hear her long, steady breaths, and she was asleep again. This time, much farther away._

She acted like a wounded animal around him. Any sudden gesture would make her take a few steps back, putting a "safe" distance between them. He couldn't blame her behavior in any way though. Numerous times in the past he attacked her with full intent to kill her. The fear in her eyes was the same fear he saw now.

She moaned and rolled over again, this time facing him. Her pink hair was messy and tangled. Her face, like his own, was smeared with dirt. Her complexion was one of someone who hadn't slept well in days. She was beautiful. 

Sasuke had always felt something for Sakura.. like something that needed to be protected. When he first met her, he thought she was weak. She was always running from and reacting to every little thing. It was all ridiculous and trivial in his eyes, she should've meant nothing to him. But the way she clung to him and trembled.. he couldn't explain how it made him feel. Perhaps he was using her to fill the weakness inside him, taking pride in being her shield. But she never needed any special protection in the first place.

It was clear the day Kakashi began chakra control training. Sakura mastered it instantly. When he turned around, she was sitting in her tree, her tongue sticking out playfully at him and Naruto. She was pretty at that time as well. It frustrated him, to think weak Sakura was better than him at some things. 

But it could never compare to the rage he felt during the Chuunin Exams. She was beaten and bruised, her hair was ruined and was cut so crudely it was pitiful even for her. Surrounding her were people he had never seen before. It was mostly a blur after that. The only thing he could recall was the raw emotion he felt: the rage, the ecstasy, the sheer power flowing into him, and the rush of being able to "protect" something.. to "protect" Sakura. And then he felt her arms around him, trembling. She was begging for him to stop, and when he looked into her eyes he could see that instead of the bastards that did this to her, it was _Sasuke _whom she was afraid of, and even then, she was beautiful. Within a second, all those emotions that were churning so violently inside him were all replaced with cold disgust, disgust with himself. 

He sighed heavily. He envied his younger self, when Sakura would look at him so fondly, and call out his name so lovingly. Times were simpler then. After he left, he felt so desperate to kill Sakura, deducting that cutting off their connection would definitely awaken his Mangekyou. In truth, he took pleasure in the delusion that he was her protection. But Sakura is strong. Some part of him always knew that she was holding back, for what she called love. 

It was when she shouted, "Because I love you!" he would get angry. Her feelings weren't real, he thought. They weren't anywhere near as complex as he felt towards her, he had thought. Her "love" wasn't any different from the strangers that ogled him and clung to him shamelessly. He believed that more than anything, their distance hurt him more than her. And for that, he hated and despised and cursed her name. He wouldn't hesitate to put a hole through her chest with his Chidori. But he was wrong. It was quite the opposite. 

She had cried so many times, suffered so many times...

He wondered how it felt to love someone and be so terrified of them at the same time. Just the thought of it was agonizing.. but Sakura had lived that way every day for years. He laid down on his side, concentrating on the sounds of her soft breathing, her back slowly rising up and down. Then he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Sakura didn't know what she was doing. It was clear to her that Sasuke would never return her feelings, and yet, why did he ask her to come with him? She felt like she was intruding on something sacred. She had been traveling with him for about a couple months now. Despite that, she couldn't feel comfortable around him. She couldn't forget the sparks and the loud screeching noise it would make, the one jutsu that absolutely paralyzed her- the Chidori. Next to him, she would have constant nightmares of Sasuke turning around and piercing her with that blinding light and his cold eyes just watching her.

During the day, few words were exchanged between the two. She walked behind him, and watched from behind. She did it on purpose, it made her feel a little nostalgic to the simpler days when she would follow Sasuke around, day dreaming about some kind of unlikely teen drama fantasy. At the time, she was frustrated with herself, for not being strong enough to walk side by side Sasuke. She felt useless. Now, she couldn't tell what she felt. Watching his back gave her some comfort, like they were twelve again and if there was any danger she could cling to his small back and hide. But things were different now. They weren't twelve, she wasn't weak, in fact, in terms of physical strength she was clearly the stronger one. His silhouette had changed drastically since then. He was no longer the same height as her, and his thin back was now broad and rough with robust muscle and terrible scars. He had only one arm now. She had the ability to walk side by side with him, she could protect him. But she couldn't, she was too afraid. She would once again feel the fear of being vulnerable to his cold eyes, and making eye contact would remind her of when they were on opposite sides of the battle field. 

Her love was her only weakness. She hated him, but she hated herself so much more. It started out as some pubescent girl's crush, Sasuke was handsome and skilled, she was one of many who fell in love with him instantly. Now... what even was it? Her love, that is. She couldn't find any reason for it to grow, and yet it flourished. She hated him, she hated _it_ as well, she wanted to smother it and let it die. Sasuke had betrayed her, and hurt her so many times, and yet her love would only grow. Her love rejected the bounds of reason, and it consumed her. She was so afraid of him, and yet she wanted to stay by him. Her hand tightened around her chest. 

"Sakura." Her head jerked up at the sound of her name.  
"Y-Yes?" Sasuke stopped suddenly, turning his head toward her.   
"There's a small town an hour away. We'll be stopping there for the day." She nodded in response and they continued walking. She felt a little giddy. It had been a while since they had found a village, and she desperately needed some other food than fish crudely cooked on an open fire. 

They arrived, and quickly found an inn to sleep in. Sasuke asked to book two different rooms, but when Sakura opened their shared wallet, she grimaced. The two rooms would use up all their money, and money was hard to come by when you're constantly wandering and helping others without asking for any payment. 

"Sasuke-kun.." she tugged on his cloth and showed him the skinny wallet. If they spent all their money on the rooms, she wouldn't be able to buy some actual food from the market, but she wasn't very enthusiastic about sleeping on the cold, hard ground again either. Sasuke knit his brow, taking the wallet in his hand, thinking about their predicament before the inn-keeper interjected.

"You two can share a room, you're a couple ain't 'cha?" she asked in an impatient tone. Sakura didn't know how to answer. They were far from that, and yet it made her a little happy to be looked at in that sense. Sasuke studied her expression before turning to the woman and saying,

"One room then," in a calm tone. Sakura flushed. What was he thinking?! "Sakura," he called to her again, "I'll be walking around town." He handed her the wallet and left. Sakura translated it in her head, _'I'll be seeing if there're any problems around town, in the mean time buy yourself something.'_ It was times like these Sakura could see the thoughtful Sasuke she had first met years ago. 

She headed to the market, though it was a lot smaller than a major city like Konoha. She delightfully bought her favorite foods, and then some tomatoes for Sasuke. When she came back to their room, Sasuke was already waiting there. She smiled at him and he nodded in response.

* * *

Sasuke watched her eat the tomato soup she made happily. She was more relaxed today, probably because she was eating some good food for once, and could sleep in something comfortable. 

"Did anything happen?" she asked. She was happy today, and her smile fixed the cold atmosphere instantly.   
"No," he quietly answered. She grinned.   
"Well, something big happened to me~" she said excitedly, pulling out a sake bottle. She was already pouring him a cup, looking up at him for approval. Normally he would decline, but seeing her so cheerful made it impossible to. He sighed loudly and shrugged, then she smiled again handing him his sake filled cup. "It was pretty cheap, and it looked like it wasn't that sweet so I couldn't resist~" To Sasuke, the sake was still a little too sweet for him, but for the sake of the good mood he gulped it down.   
"hn."

She was being very talkative today, it was probably due to the alcohol clouding her judgement. Either away, she wasn't running away.  
"You know Sasuke-kuun~.." she trailed off, slurring her words, "..I really missed you.." He stiffened a little. Even though they had been travelling together all this time, the past events had seemed like a taboo topic until now. He stayed silent, listening to her drunken rambling. She was being a little sly, using the pretense of the alcohol to finally have a real talk. He knew her skills in medical jutsu could easily reverse the effects of the alcohol, and yet she chose to get drunk. He liked that selfish part of her as well. "I used to compete for you with Ino.. and now she's got Sai.. have I won? I don't feel like I won.." she pouted.  
"Maybe."  
"Shannaro! Yeah~ I did win~" she exclaimed, gulping down another cup. "Sasuke-kuuun~"  
"hm?"  
"Have I gotten stronger? I'm not weak anymore right?" He chuckled.  
"You were never weak."   
"That's not true.." He wanted to ask her what that meant, but she switched to another topic again. "We always eat fish! Without anything on it~... I want to buy salt tomorrow!"  
"Okay."  
"But we don't have money.. where am I going to get money~"  
"We'll be fine without salt."  
"I won't!" She put her head face down on the table. "I want to go home~.." That comment frustrated Sasuke.  
"Then why did you come with me?"   
"You know the answer to that," she said curtly. He did. "...why did you ask me to come with you?" she asked quietly. He stayed silent. "I hate that side of you," she said and took a long sip.   
"..Aren't you drinking too fast?" She shrugged. The atmosphere was awkward again. He grew impatient. "Hurry up and make that silly smile again." She tilted her head. It certainly _was _a weird thing to say. The alcohol was finally doing something to him. Then she started laughing.  
"Ahaha..! Is this your way of cheering me up? Sasuke-kun you're too funny!" she rolled on the ground and laughed uncontrollably. _'Pretty..'_ Sasuke thought to himself, taking the sake bottle and cups and placing them on the floor, then laying down near Sakura.   
"Hey."  
"hmm~"   
"Are you still afraid of me?" She looked away.   
"I don't know.." He sighed.   
"You always run away from me."  
"I-... I won't.." she looked down.

Was she inviting him? He slowly reached his arm out, gently pulling her closer. She shivered. He stroked her hair silently, his eyes watching her.   
"Look at me, if you're not running away." She slowly lifted her gaze to his, and he felt something rise in him, something possessive and ugly and selfish. He wanted her.

Sakura was afraid. It was a different kind of afraid than a fear of death. Sasuke's black eyes were more piercing than ever, like he finally wanted something from her. His touch felt like it had some kind of special meaning to it, and was strangely intimate. But she was afraid and entranced at the same time. She could read Sasuke's cold behavior like a book, but when his eyes were filled with emotion, she didn't have the slightest clue of what he was thinking. She was at the mercy of _it_ again, her love.

He pushed her down slowly, rolling on top of her, staring into her eyes for some kind of acceptance on her part.

"Sakura.." he breathed out huskily. She was being manipulated again. She knew it, but she couldn't fight it. Was he using her feelings for something like this? How many women had he been with? It didn't matter, because right now she had him to herself. She was selfish in that sense. One of his goals was to "revive" the Uchiha clan.. it wouldn't be that surprising if he manipulated every women he met into sleeping with him. Well none of that mattered now. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly undressing him with one hand and caressing his back with the other. His eyes narrowed, and slowly lowered himself on her, breathing into the crook of her neck and playing with her hair.

"You're so beautiful."

* * *

She was definitely pregnant. The symptoms wouldn't appear until a few days later, but she knew after that, there was no way she wasn't. Despite how close they were last night, she knew the distance would grow again. She still didn't know what he wanted, or what led him to do _that_ with her. Maybe it was all meaningless to him: the sweet words, the soft kisses, or how he made her feel. She felt like she finally meant something to him, for once. For the first time, he had called her beautiful. Compared to that, how many times had he called her annoying? Perhaps it all meant nothing to him.

"Sasuke-kun."  
"hn?"  
"Did you do this with anyone else?"  
"No," he said firmly, as if to reassure her. She secretly smiled to herself. Even if it'll mean nothing in the future, right now in this very moment, it was special.

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura returned to the village shortly after. It was time for his periodical visit, staying a few days and then leaving. If she wanted to, he would probably bring her with him again. She didn't run away from him this time. It made him feel.. happy. Happier than he should be. 

"Oi, Sasuke!" Naruto called to him excitedly. Sasuke calmly walked over to join him.  
"Is this really you, or just some fake, Dobe?" he asked.   
"It's really me this time!" he grinned. Sasuke suddenly pulled out his sword and swung at him, and Naruto quickly responded with a block from his kunai. "What the hell?! Hey-" Sasuke knocked Naruto off his feet with a swift kick, and he fell to the ground pathetically.  
"So it really is you.."   
"Of course it's me 'ttebayo!! You never believe me on anything do you.." Naruto rubbed his backside and stood up again. "So?? How was your one-on-one trip with Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked excitedly. 

Sasuke didn't want to rely on this idiot for advice, but he knew, in this field Naruto had much more experience. He sighed, and told him almost everything.

Naruto let out a huge sigh.   
"Sasukeeee... I know it's you but you really.. don't know the right order of things. You're a real asshole you know that?" Sasuke could hear in his tone of voice that Naruto was putting it lightly. Had he messed up that bad? "You probably don't understand since you've never felt love before.. but you have to tell her you love her before doing something like that!" Sasuke made a face trying to understand. 

"When did you tell your wife you loved her, Naruto?" Naruto fumbled and laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Unlike you, as soon as possible dattebayo!" 

Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. Of course. 

"How though?"   
"Plain and simple, just how I like it!" He put his hands on his hips. "Like this," he said smugly, then put on a serious face and said, "Hinata, I love you." Sasuke felt the emotion, but he didn't get it. He cocked his head to the side and let out a disapproving 'huh?'

"I don't get what you mean at all." Naruto groaned in frustration.  
"Just say what you think of her." 

Sasuke thought for a few seconds, looking into the sunset.   
"Sakura is.. the most beautiful person in the world to me. Everything about her makes me-"  
"OOOOH I'm going to stop you there!!" Naruto grimaced hard and pretended to throw up. "Never in my life did I ever think I would hear something so obnoxiously romantic out of Sasuke's mouth. God, your ikemen powers are finally going to some good use." Sasuke's fist shook with anger and was about to punch Naruto until he said, "Something like that would surely make Sakura-chan swoon."

Sasuke stared at him for a few seconds, and then turned to leave.   
"Sasuke! Where are you going?! What the hell?!"   
"Thanks, Usuratonkachi," Sasuke without turning back.  
"Urrrgh why do you have to be so cool until the very end?!" Naruto groaned.

"Sasuke-kuuuun!" Sakura called out to him, waiting by the gate. He smiled, waving back to her. 

They walked side by side nervously, as if they were reliving the teenage years they missed together. 

"Sakura."

"Yes?" She turned to him, her hands behind her back, a habit she had since she was twelve. Her smile was so beautiful.

"I love you."

"..Stupid."

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this relationship is so objectively bad.  
narutoxsasuke or narutoxsakura is so much better but  
this is the canon ship  
my girl sakura can get it but she chose sasuke like ???  
sasukes a hoe ?????  
i played hotaru no hikari on loop while writing this, and yes, i cried


End file.
